some funny/not funny things that happened in Greece

They arrived in Mikonos at night. Her father told her to wait with their belongings on the steps of a hotel, where there were no rooms available, until he found a place to stay. She sat there for a while. The night grew darker. A young couple walked up the stairs and asked if she needed anything. She told them her story and they nodded and looked at each other and asked if she wanted a glass of wine. She was 17 years old. She said yes. She followed them into their hotel suite which had a balcony overlooking the winding white streets of the island. The three of them sat drinking very sweet wine but didn't talk much because the man was Ethiopian and the woman was Spanish and they could only communicate in French, which she had only just started taking in school. She could see into their bedroom from where she sat. She saw their bed, unmade, and could make out the spots where they had laid the most. She also saw a zucchini tucked halfway under the covers. They watched her looking at their zucchini and did not say anything.

The man lit some incense, and the woman began to touch him as they passed each other in the room, picking things up and putting things away. The couple came out to the balcony and stood in front of her and said something like, where is your father, and then they kissed each other and the man pinched the woman’s nipple, hard, it seemed, and the woman arched her back. She spilled her wine onto the white tile patio, and the couple laughed at her. When her father arrived, he thanked them for taking care of her. They went to find the hotel where her father had left his passport as a down payment on the room. In the black night, the hotel could not be found. They walked up and down the same hill four times. She noted the many stars in the sky against the sound of her father’s cursing.

In a restaurant in Athens, her father told her that she had nice shapely legs just like her mother. She was eating fried calamari. Her stomach churned. She felt like she needed to fart, but instead, shat her pants. She had to go to the bathroom and stuff toilet paper in her underwear to keep from staining the upholstered restaurant chair.

Her father asked her to take a picture of him sitting in front of a restaurant called Cafe Intellectuel somewhere, by some coastline, with boats.

On Paros, they met a woman named Katrina and her friend Richard, not Rick, or Dick, but Richard. Katrina was getting a cappuccino at a little cafe wearing a sarong wrapped around her body and tied behind her neck so that her back showed down to her crack. Katrina was 22 and found her father very interesting. Katrina said, How lucky you are to have such an amazing father! He's so knowledgeable and articulate! Katrina did not talk like any of the twenty-two-year-olds that she knew. Somehow, she is not sure how, she ended up at the beach alone with Richard. Something about Katrina and her father wanting to talk about Greek history. Richard didn't want to talk about anything. Mostly, he made sure his tanning oil was on evenly. At the beach, she felt very flat chested.

On Lesbos, her father wore a speedo. He was not European. He was from New Jersey.

Back in Athens again, they rented a basement room in a small house. She often sat alone in the back garden, thinking. One time, an old lady dressed completely in black came up to her from out of nowhere. The old lady had a soft brown paper bag in her hands that was gently wrinkled as if it had been lovingly used many times. The old lady handed her the paper bag and said something in Greek, repeating the same word over and over, motioning for her to open it. Figs, she said upon seeing the contents held within. The old lady nodded and repeated the word in Greek, motioning for her to eat one. She was 17 and didn't think she liked figs but put one into her mouth politely. As her teeth cut through the skin, she felt as if an ancient elixir burst through time and onto her tongue. The sweet syrupy nectar exploded in her mouth like a thunderbolt. It was the most sublime thing she had ever tasted, succulent and hers alone. The old lady watched her smile as she slowly chewed the fruit. The old lady clapped her hands together, then talked to herself in Greek, as she walked away. She never told her father about the figs. During the entire trip, the old lady was the only person who was her friend.